The problem of suffering…

The answer to this question has puzzled men since the beginning of time. Job asked this question; and really, got no answer. His “comforters” tried to answer it, and got into big time trouble with God: “My wrath is aroused against you and your two friends, for you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has. Now therefore, take for yourselves seven bulls and seven rams, go to My servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and My servant Job shall pray for you. For I will accept him, lest I deal with you according to your folly; because you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has.” (Job 42:7-8, NKJV).

In light of that I will offer no pat answers, for while there have been plenty, they have always been wrong or at least offered in the wrong spirit.

My daughter, Rachel, writes of her persistent illness (a chemical imbalance, diagnosed as Bipolar II) that causes her debilitating depression. (www.notesfromthewell.blogspot.com). Her mother and I watch as she suffers, praying for her and encouraging her. I suspect that her condition is hereditary as there has and is in my family a long history of depression.

I also struggled / continue to struggle, with depression. As a Christian and especially as a Pastor, I often suffered in shame, wrongly thinking that Christians and Pastors are to “have it all together;” however, I have since come to the realization that my understanding was somewhat naive and shallow.

In his book, Lectures to My Students, Charles Spurgeon writes of “The Ministers Fainting Fits.” His insight is based upon his own experience with depression. (Imagine my shock to discover that the “Prince of Preachers,” the great Charles Spurgeon, suffered from depression!). Spurgeon writes: “Knowing by most painful experience what deep depression of spirit means, being visited therewith at seasons by no means few or far between, I thought it might be consolatory to some of my brethren if I gave my thoughts thereon, that younger men might not fancy that some strange thing had happened to them when they became for a season possessed by melancholy; and that sadder men might know that one upon who the sun has shone right joyously did not always walk in the light.” Depression is not a mark of a lack of spirituality or immaturity; no one could hardly accuse Spurgeon of that; rather, it is a very real condition that is brought about either spiritually or physically (chemical imbalance of the brain) resulting it periods of thoughts of hopelessness and despair.

Spurgeon goes on: “Good men are promised tribulation in this world, and ministers may expect a larger share than others, that they may learn sympathy with the Lord’s suffering people, and so, may be fitting shepherds of an ailing flock.” But is this always the case with minister’s and churches? My daughter Rachel writes: “I think first, we need to seek to make ourselves and our churches welcoming for those that are mentally ill, or otherwise suffering. Church should be a place where people can share their struggles in these areas without fear of prejudice or judgment, but so often it isn’t. We are all so busy pretending to have it all together out of fear of what others will think that we never realize that everyone is struggling with something! We can only minister to the ill and struggling if we know of their condition!”

If good men are promised tribulation in this world and ministers may expect a larger share that others, then why do we not hear of this more from the pulpit? I believe that the answers are right in front of us:

• Pride; we don’t want to admit that we struggle with anything. In the church today at large there is the tendency to portray an image that has never existed in orthodox Christianity. Paul struggled with depression, II Corinthians 1:8-11 (NKJV): “For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us, you also helping together in prayer for us, that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the gift granted to us through many.” David struggled with depression, Psalms 42:5 (NKJV): “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?” Even Jesus our saviour struggled with sorrow and grief, as the prophet described Him as, “…A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” (Isaiah 53:3, NKJV). Are pastor’s better that Paul? Or David? Or Jesus? I think not.

• Fear; we are afraid that if we are honest, people will think less of us (and that is symptomatic of pride as well). The sad truth is that there are some (I’d like to think that it is not most, but I am not sure, so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt) who would indeed think less of us if we were to be honest with them; so, we put on a false face (hypocrisy) and move on as if nothing is wrong, all the time dying inside for someone we can talk to.

Spurgeon goes on: “…the wonder in many cases is…how some ministers keep at their work at all, and still wear a smile upon their countenances.” It’s easy; we’ve got good at fooling one another. Our greetings betray us: “How are you?” “Fine. How are you?” “Good.” Good, great, never a struggle, never a sorrow, always on top…yea, right.

Rachel writes: “I know that sometimes, making it through the day seems like an impossible feat. I know what it's like:

· to look around your house, see it in complete disarray, but just not have the energy or real inclination to do anything about it.

· to no longer care about the things you used to care about.

· to want something too desperately but somehow not be able to take the steps you must to make it happen.

· to just want to turn off. to lay down and sleep forever.

· to feel like there's a monster inside of you that could come out at anytime.

· to be afraid that you will get angry and say things you don't mean.

· to be frustrated to the point of tears over something you know logically is stupid.

· to be afraid you will embarrass yourself with your illness and the behavior that comes with it.

But, I also know there has to be healing for us. Through meds or through miracles. God's just shown Himself too faithful to me to believe otherwise.”

Rachel is right: God is faithful; for whatever reason, whatever purpose, He has allowed it; He has a purpose and He is working behind the scenes, which is often why we cannot see Him working on our behalf.

What are His purposes? Again Spurgeon writes: “This depression comes over me whenever the Lord is preparing a larger blessing for my ministry; the cloud is black before it breaks, and overshadows before it yields its deluge of mercy.” For Spurgeon, depression was followed by times of great blessing and elation. This is how Rachel’s doctor described her depression: “Bipolar II is characterized by extreme lows (depression) and milder highs (mania). She also explained that mania can manifest in ways that do not feel good: anxiety, inability to focus on tasks, irritability, agitation, distraction and more. She said that people with bipolar II can be very accomplished and high functioning when level or manic, but are paralyzed when depressed.”

Once, while Charles Spurgeon was speaking, a lunatic jumped up and yelled, “fire;” in the resulting panic to exit the building, 4 people were killed. Spurgeon laid in bed for a week, overcome by severe depression. Only when his deacons came and laid hands on him, was he able to rise and resume his duties.

And yet in all this there is hope, for there in the midst of our suffering is our Saviour. Spurgeon writes: “The Lord is revealed in the backside of the desert, while His servant keepeth the sheep and waits in solitary awe. The low valley leads to the towering mountain, defeat prepares for victory. The raven is sent forth before the dove. The darkest hour of the night precedes the day-dawn. The mariners go down to the depths, but the next wave makes them mount to the heaven; their soul is melted because of trouble before He bringeth them to their desired haven.”

Rachel writes: “One verse consistently sticks out to me during this time: From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more. Then Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also want to go away?” But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. (John 6:66-68). Peter’s words have never felt so real to me as in this season – only You have the words of life! (Sure, the verse doesn’t say “only”, but I think it’s pretty clearly implied.) When I am completely without hope, when all seems lost: Jesus remains. Even when I am not sure He will ever change my circumstance, where else am I going to go? Will the world save me from my sickness? Will gratifying my flesh give me hope? There is nothing else that can touch the pain I’m in. Nothing else that can make me stand. This conviction is not from me. I have no willpower or persistence. Only the Holy Spirit in me has given me the strength to desperately cling to the One with the words of life.”

Spurgeon writes: “When David returned to Ziklag and found the city burned, goods stolen, wives carried off, and his troops ready to stone him, we read, ‘he encouraged himself in his God’; and well was it for him that he could do so, for he would then have fainted if he had not believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”

There is hope when all appears hopeless; God is there even when it appears that He is not; God is faithful even when it appears that He is not; God cares even when it appears that He does not. “For we walk by faith , not by sight.” (II Corinthians 5:7, NKJV).

If we are to properly deal with difficult times they we must learn to see the invisible: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (II Corinthians 4:16-18, NKJV).

Rachel writes: “In all honesty, mental illness sucks. I hate it. I trust the Lord through it, but sometimes it's because I have no other option. If I don't trust the Lord in this, I am really screwed. I struggle, y'all. I’m not very good at dealing with this. I don't do the "right" thing all the time. I don't have a whole lot of joy in this most of the time. How much of that is illness and how much of it is my sinful nature? I can't say. But I don't care really. I’m waiting on the Lord and giving Him everything I've got, even when it's not much at all. At least it's honest.”

Spurgeon concludes by saying: “Continue with double earnestness to serve your Lord when no visible result is before you. Any simpleton can follow the narrow path in the light; faith’s rare wisdom enables us to march on in the dark with infallible accuracy, since she places her hand in that of her Great Guide…in nothing let us turn aside from the path which the divine call has urged us to pursue. Come fare or come foul, the pulpit is our watch-tower, and the ministry our warfare; be it ours, when we cannot see the face of our God, to trust under THE SHADOW OF HIS WINGS.”

My hope is that this opens up a dialog between those who suffer and those who are supposed to minister to them. I don’t pretend to understand my daughter’s struggle, but I love her. You don’t throw people away just because they are broken. You love them by being there for them and you pray for them. Isn’t that what Jesus did?